My Story Living with Post-traumatic Depression
My mental problems started out when I was a kid. I had trouble fitting him and usually tried to be alone. I came from a dysfunctional family whereby my father was an alcoholic and sometimes abusive. This led to a divorce when I was barely 11 and mum left me under the care of dad. Living with my father was like living in hell. To him, I was always a financial burden and he often denied me most of the basic things. He as a matter of facts made life unbearable.
Mom didn’t visit often and thus I felt that I too hated her. However, there was nothing much I could do because I didn’t have the capability to live on my own. Therefore I had to endure all the pain and strife that I was going through. This made me become melancholic and often felt lonely. The more I stressed myself, the more I made things worse. I didn’t realize that was slowly becoming depressed. I developed some odd symptoms of anxiety.
At the age of 14, I introduced myself in the world of drugs. I started by taking tots of the whiskey that dad brought home. I just wanted to feel lost and minimize the loneliness in me. Actually, alcohol did the trick. However, one day, I took too much of it, until my dad discovered when he found me dead drunk in the living room. He gave me a thorough beating which made me to flee from home.
I found myself on the streets doing manual jobs to make ends meet. Dad wasn’t much concerned with me and never even bothered to find out what happened to me. Life on the streets wasn’t an easy one. Soon I found myself caught up in the world of hard drugs such as marijuana which I cheaply obtained. It was a matter of months before I became an addict and started acting like a mad man. Actually, the depression by now had greatly matured because of the hard life in the streets.
Substance Abuse Can Aggravate Mental Illnesses
The drugs had negative effects in my life. My reasoning became myopic and did anything just to please myself. Another bad behavior that I picked on the streets was the desire to make a living through mugging and stealing people’s property. The big boys used me because I was quiet naive and had to obey them. There are times that I was caught on the wrong side and given a thorough beating. In one instance, I nearly lost my life and had to stay for almost two weeks without getting up as I fend from the handouts of other street kids.
My mum came to learn what happened to me and started her journey to trace me. She claims that she took about two months before she was able to find where I was. She took me in. it was at this time that she realized that I wasn’t the same son that she used to know. Life had really changed. She could detect that I needed to visit a mental center.
Drug Rehabilitation helped me Overcome Mental Illness
I was taken to a mental hospital, where I was hospitalized in the psych unit. Within two days there, I started having multiple hallucinations and the craving for the drugs that I was used too became too much, that I escaped from the center. However, the security team of the hospital caught up with me and bright me back. My mom was called. When she arrived, she felt much disappointment at the revelation of my drug-use. I don’t know what prompted me to reveal all that too her, but I felt that she was the only person in the world who cared for me.
I was taken to a drug rehabilitation center where I stayed for five months. The psychiatrist would often visit me there to ensure that I complied with the drugs that she had subscribed to me. After the rehab period, my mom wanted me to go back to school, but I wasn’t ready for school anymore. It reminded me of the pain and struggle that I underwent as a child and I wanted those memories to get off me.
However, I joined vocational training center and learned about cooking and bakery. Today, I operate my own small business which enables me to live a normal life, instead of a dysfunctional life, which was what I was trying so hard to get away from. I forgave my mom for abandoning me, though I’m yet to forgive my dad.